The Penguin Returns

In other news, guess who’s back? Pingu’s back! Yes, the streets of Twitterville absolutely erupted a week ago, sparking a worldwide trend of #PinguLives after old Twitter favourite, @Pinguvsmeercats resurfaced her beaky little head onto the Twitter scene. Every street, alleyway, nook and cranny was filled with jubilant celebration (as well as some apprehensive speculation as to her sudden disappearance which lasted one whole year). So, where did she go?!

One Tweeter sparked a national outcry and subsequent covert penguin-hunt after it was suggested that she had absconded to join ISIS as part of their UK Renai-science Cell. This came shortly after Pingu had failed a routine drug test. Some suggest that Pingu was struggling to balance her Tweets with real life but the Twitteral Bureau of Narcotics is investigating the possibility that her tea may have been spiked by none other than her Twitter Sister, or Twister, @DiscreetDiam0nd. Both deny the charges and claim that they have been targeted by male chauvinist Tweeps to chase them away from expressing their blunt and honest views. Prior to her reappearance, Pingu was last seen in February of 2014, escaping via the windows and down the drainpipe on the 5^th floor of the hospital she works at. She purportedly made a parachute made out of bed sheets and landed safely before making her way to McDonalds for a cheeky fillet o’fish and then heading for the airport. However, the facts surrounding this theory remain disjointed and unfounded.

A more plausible explanation for her disappearance is that Pingu took the year out to be mentored by the Mr Miyagi of photography in order to learn how to take pictures of the moon so that people could tell that it was actually the moon which had been photographed. In light of her recent pictures posted on the social networking site, Instagram, this theory does indeed hold water.

And finally, a rumour we would all like to believe is that Pingu escaped the land of infidels to find her roots and…waaaaait for it…get hitched! I am not sure how much longer the world can hold its breath in eager anticipation for the news that she is finally to tie the knot!! Whether or not this is true, one thing we can confirm is that when the time finally comes and those wedding bells ring aloud and true in our ears, Pingu will be earning a whopping £1m for photography rights from OK! Magazine, presumably with VIT's attending from all over the world.

We await comment from the woman of the hour herself...